Tender Mercy

Remember my "Momzilla" post from a week or so ago? I was having a bad day, and isn't it interesting how sometimes the smallest things will happen to remind us that the Lord is so totally aware of us? The very next day after I published that post, the deacons in our ward brought around our monthly newsletter, and I was casually scanning through it as per usual, when something special caught my attention. It was contributed by one of the Y.W. presidency in our ward, and I thought it was so appropriate to my situation, and may possibly be interesting to others, so I thought I would share. It was way too random to be a coincidence.

The article she contributed was devoted to the way we should be in disciplining those under our authority. I will paraphrase and just include the parts I thought were so applicable. It was taken out of D&C 95.

In verse 1 it reads, "thus saith the Lord unto you whom I love, and whom I love I also chasten." The first key to righteous discipline is that we should discipline in the spirit of love." The verse goes on to say that he chastens so that our sins may be forgiven. The second key to righteous discipline is therefore, discipline for the betterment of the individual. Lastly, in that same verse the Lord declares, "For with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance in all things..." So, the third key is to provide an escape for the disciplined individual, so they don't feel trapped. Verse 2 and 3 continue with the Lord explains that the saints are deserving of a rebuke because they have not already built the Kirtland temple. This is a wonderful example of the fourth key of righteous discipline, which is to define the sin. In verse 8 the Lord shows us The fifth key, redefining the expected behavior, by stating, "I gave unto you a commandment to build a house, in the which house I design to endow those whom I have chosen with power from on high." The Lord does not just assume that the saints knew exactly what was expected of them; in jumping to conclusions that way, people can make serious mistakes. (I think this especially applies when dealing with small children.) Lastly, in verse 14 the Lord commands and gives detailed instructions for the construction of His House. This epitomizes the sixth key of righteous discipline: help the individual succeed.

As I was reading this, I was amazed at how easily I could adapt these principles that the Lord had exemplified as I am disciplining my own children. For example:

#1 Discipline in the spirit of love- like I said before, this is always our goal, but it sometimes doesn't always end up being loving, so this was a good reminder of why we should do things.

#2 Discipline for the betterment of the individual- I need to remember to ask myself, am I disciplining because I truly want my child to become better, or am I just imposing my authority over them because I am bigger than they are?

#3 Provide an escape for the individual, so they don't feel "trapped." I don't understand this one as well as some of the others, but my understanding is that I should teach them a better choice than what ended up getting them in trouble in the first place?

#4 Define the sin. I need to make sure that every time discipline is needed, that I thoroughly explain why what they did was wrong and why they are being punished, and make sure they understand.

#5 Redefine the expected behavior. When I discipline my children, do I spend all my time telling them what they CAN'T do? I need to remember to teach them what they SHOULD do, so there is no misunderstanding there.

#6 Help the individual succeed. I guess this ties in with providing and escape and redefining the behavior, I need to make sure my children understand exactly what is expected of them, and exactly what their consequence will be if they make the same mistake again.

I realize this stuff isn't rocket science (actually, it's smarter!) and many parts I had already heard before. But what a great and gentle reminder of what the Lord expects of us, especially in my case, since I have been given a very special stewardship of being mother to these precious little ones- the Lord has trusted me with them, and has given me, by example through the scriptures, wonderful instructions concerning the task of discipline, which can sometimes become confusing and overwhelming. This article literally landed on my doorstep the very next day after I was having a struggle- which might have indeed been a small thing, but I also felt like it was a huge thing because it was a direct answer to my prayers.